I was surfing the interwebs a couple of minutes back, as I was preparing for my evening bath. And while I was doing so, I had this weird realisation (like I always do).
I have talked about this on my Twitter account, but seriously, I feel like I am not living my life. Hold on, do not think I am just stressed out or something. I mean, my work life is going well, family’s all good, social life is active, and I have a couple of me-times when I want it. But I feel like there’s something wrong.. like I should be saving the world right now, but all I am actually doing is blogging about it – just thinking about it.
I feel like I need to do something, that requires disconnecting from everyone and finding something to do that will really impact the majority of this planet’s inhabitants in a good way. Something that does not involve putting the correct Instagram filter or witty hashtag or compelling recollections.
I feel like quitting my job to go places I have never been on. To actually be with other people. To connect in real life, not through late-night screen tapping convos.
But then I hear about all these bombings and massive killings and frame-ups and they.. scare me.
That is probably why I am having all these weird thoughts that I am useless and no-good. ‘Cause I wanna do something, but I can not do it because there are lots of complications – several aspects of my life that may get negatively affected if I choose to just cut the rope and go for the free fall. Like I am choosing between life and emptiness, and that I can no longer turn back once I’ve put my cards down.
Sigh. Happy Sunday evening.