As it seems, I am unconsciously a fan of deadlines.
It’s ironic, I know. I procrastinate a lot, rant about not having enough time to do everything all the time, barely have time to relax, and complains endlessly about stress as if it’s always the first time. If anything, I should be the last person saying something positive about due dates.
But when I said that I kind of like deadlines, I was actually thinking about that feeling that something will stop happening. It feels good to know that certain things like stress, anxiety, and panic, will cease to exist after some time – that they only have a limited period and that I will get a break from them, even though short. It’s good to realise that the world does not stop for me, and that everyone has a lot going on that they would not really stop what they’re doing just to look down on me.
Of course, good things also have deadlines. But at least you’ll know that they are just around the corner, waiting for the cycle to complete.
Which got me thinking on the side.. why do we always hope that the last times will last?
Last bit of hope that someone’s coming back.
It’s quite ironic, you know? Hoping that the last thing will last forever. Or is it our way of reminding ourselves that the last times will always be a part of who we are? That the last times will stick around for a much longer period, even though they’re already due.
This is the last time that I am going to think about.. you.
Newsflash: I rode a bus to get home today.
It’s a big deal because I. Hate. Bus. Rides. Especially. Those. Where. I. Am. Not. Seated.
I was feeling pretty good when I clocked out of the office, even though quite late already, today because I had finished some tasks that were left pending over the Easter break. However, things turned around real quick when I realised that the MRT station has no NB operations. Here’s a summary of what went on in my head when I realised the conundrum I am in:
Me: Should I just walk home??
Me: DO I TAKE A BUS OR A CAB
Me: Holy cheese wtfffffuuuu
Also me: *pokerface*
I was literally freaking out already because:
1. I don’t know what bus route I should take! “Cubao Ibabaw”, “Cubao Fast Lane” does not ring any bells to me!
2. Why the fck do bus drivers decide to just freaking accelerate at a rate faster than the speed of light just when the passengers have just set foot on the bus and haven’t even found a seat yet?? Like, is there some inside joke here?! Do I look like Spiderman to you? Do you expect me to swing my way towards the back of the bus?? Wtf???????
3. I have heard lots of stories where unsuspecting and vulnerable victims have been held up or pickpocketed during bus rides. Let’s just say that even though I am always that friend who reminds the gang to watch out for their belongings, I never suspect other people to just do that to me. Or maybe I just physically look vulnerable sometimes. Or maybe I just want someone to try to pickpocket me so I can use my jiu-jitsu training. LOL, can be all.
4. I get super stressed out when people walk towards the door because wtf how do you even do that? I am already sweating out my life while atanding on the aisle. Like, fuck, you da MVPs!
However, I had this weird thought that said there might be a reason why I was left with no option but to ride a bus. Maybe I just bumped onto my soulmate? LOLJK.But srsly, that thought occurred to me – just like in the movies when the protagonist male and female get on the same bus and have not just realised it yet. Hihi.
But, yea, oh well. Just making some lemonades out of the lemons I got today.